Competition

I will not lie, I love competition. I love the feeling you get right before the race, right before a deadline, anything that puts me up against someone else or a clock. In my younger years, I would do whatever it took to win. I can remember challenging my sisters-- Whether it was push-ups, hanging from a bar, or even holding our breath, it was a competition. If my sister would do 30 push-ups, I would do 31. As I have aged, I still crave the competition, but I have realized that sometimes the race is won with a little humility and grace. I know when it is best to let someone else have the spotlight(sometimes this is super hard) and when I should take it and run.

I have realized that all women want to win, we are all competitive. We all feel the same butterflies, the same nervous feeling, but why do we not embrace this feeling and share it? Why do we compete against each other instead of competing with each other? Yes there is a difference, and it is one that is felt, rarely seen. You know, who is the fittest, who is the skinniest, who has the best outfit. We have all been there. We see a pretty lady walk in a room and immediately start comparing her with ourselves. I wish I was as skinny as her, I wish I had her great hair, I want her....

I see this in the fitness community. She runs 6 miles, so tomorrow I will run 7. She lifts 35 pounds, so I will lift 40. I am trying to not be that girl. I am trying to be the girl that is happy for my fellow female. I recently ran with a friend one morning. She is training for her first half marathon and needed to run 5 miles and asked if I wanted to run with her. I agreed, but on the morning of the run, I was regretting it. I knew I was faster, I knew I should go farther, I thought I was better. I didn't want to meet her, but kept my word. The first half of the run, my mind was everywhere it should not be. Once we started the last two miles, I looked at her and I could see she was already so proud of herself. She had never ran that far before. The last quarter of a mile, she kicked it up a notch and sprinted in. At that moment I felt like crap, why did I waste this run thinking of what I could be doing? I should have realized what I did. What she did. I realized that even if I would have out ran her, she still would have beat me. I lost that competition, she won. She did something for herself, not for anyone else. The race wasn't against me or the clock, it was against herself, and she won. I wish I could be more like her :)