Some days are good and some well...

I know that I should be thankful for so many things.  If the original deployment plan would have stuck, hubby would be leaving in a few short weeks.  Because of the change, I get him, we get him, for a few more months.  It just seems like time is flying by too fast and I honestly feel out of control.  I have done deployments before, not the 365 kind, but long enough.  The girls were much younger, and I do not remember feeling like this.  It is a scary feeling. 

This weekend I am in a race in which you have to depend on 3 other people to complete a bike leg, a run leg, and a rafting leg.  Depending on people is something I am not good at.  I am terrible at.  I would rather do the entire thing myself.  I think this is preparing my for when I am alone.  I will have to learn to depend on people, a very frightening thought. 

Some days I can go all day without thinking about what the next couple of months has in store--just live in the moment.  Days like today, I wake up with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart because I know that I can not stop time and my daughters' little hearts are about to be hurting. 

*Not my little girl