Ever have one of those moments where something happens, it may be where someone does something, or someone says something, and you feel like you have a voice? It may be a small voice, a loud one, or even a whisper, but it is there. This happened to me.
I started this blog about a year ago when we found out that Andre would be deploying for a year. The first couple of weeks I found myself in a dark place. I wanted to appear strong for him so that there would be no worries when he left. All of my feelings about the deployment were getting bottled up and pushed down. I did not want my husband to worry if I could handle it, I did not want my kids to see me so sad, and I did not want anyone else see me as weak. So I thought I would start a blog and chronicle my journey, our journey, through this weird, sad, awful time. It never happened.
It has been a year since we were notified he would be leaving. We have about 3 months until he leaves. My year of blogging has almost slipped away. Honestly, I felt I had so much to say, but when I would sit down to write, the words could not and would not come, just tears. Lots of tears. I will save that for later, I just want to start this tonight, declare it, own it, and now live it.
This blog will not just be about my sad pity party, but it will also be about what I do to overcome my sadness. Running, really just pushing my body to the point I did not think I could take it. And I would like to set rules for myself.
1. I will not go back and read what I wrote until Andre comes home.
2. I will be honest with myself and my readers.
3. I will let my voice out.
Pretty simple stuff.
Amanda at Runninghood is responsible for my new found voice. Please visit her blog, she is an inspiration! I will fill you in on what she did for me to realize I am being heard.
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